I've decided I'm not very good at dating. In my every day life I'm kind of anti-social and it affects how I interact with people. This can't go on-I need to learn some skills so I don't loose another rare, awesome gem like Joseph (boy mentioned in my previous post).
With this in mind I decided to buy the book The Five Languages of Love-Singles Edition by Gary Chapman. It's been a very interesting read. It teaches you the importance of identifying how those around you perceive you care about them and love them so you can best speak their "love language." It doesn't talk only about romantic relationships but co-workers, family, and friends. The five languages are:
Words of Affirmation
Gifts
Acts of Service
Quality Time
Physical Touch
Usually the way we give love is the way we prefer to receive it (but not always). Chapman says that many of us speak all 5 languages but one is usually our predominant one. I'm still trying to figure out if Quality Time or Acts of Service is my main one-I think I lean more towards Quality Time. Those who know me well would probably guess the one I use the least to show my love would be Physical Touch-wrong. I've discovered it's Words of Affirmation. I am TERRIBLE at giving compliments. This is very unfortunate because when I was dating Joseph I noticed he likes to compliment a lot. I thought, "I need to find ways to compliment him." I appreciated him, who he was, and the things he did-I was just bad at vocalizing them. I really need to work on this love language. You would think as a teacher I would be amazing at it...but I don't compliment my students much either.
This is one of my new goals: Learn to speak the Love language of Words of Affirmation.
Chapman has a number of variations of his book-one for teens, married couples...I would highly recommend it to anyone. It gets the wheels turning.
If anyone has other books to recommend me to help improve my people skills (especially in the dating dept) I'm rip, roaring ready to read, contemplate, and implement some changes in my life!
4 comments:
Thanks for the recommendation. This sounds just like the kind of book that I need as well!
I love this book! Ryan and I read the original Love languages book and it was so helpful. Love it!!
The love languages book is amazing and very helpful for learning how to interact with all sorts of people. I also think that "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie is a classic in this area. PS, I think you're a great friend, Mel.
Hi Melani you say you have given up on dating. I have always wanted to date you. I think there is no better person than you.
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